"Caution: The
contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish."
On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
"For external
use only!"
On a curling iron.
"Warning: This
product can burn eyes."
On a curling iron.
"Do not use in
shower."
On a hair dryer.
"Do not use while
sleeping."
On a hair dryer.
"Do not use while
sleeping or unconscious."
On a hand-held massaging device.
"Do not place
this product into any electronic equipment."
On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.
"Recycled flush
water unsafe for drinking."
On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
"Shin pads cannot
protect any part of the body they do not cover."
On a pair of shin guards made for cyclists.
"This product
not intended for use as a dental drill."
On an electric rotary tool.
"Caution: Do not
spray in eyes."
On a container of underarm deodorant.
"Do not drive
with sunshield in place."
On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
"Caution: This
is not a safety protective device."
On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.
"Do not eat toner."
On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.
"Not intended
for highway use."
On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.
"This product
is not to be used in bathrooms."
On a Holmes bathroom heater.
"May irritate
eyes."
On a can of self-defense pepper spray.
"Warning: May
contain small parts."
On a frisbee.
"Do not use orally."
On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.
"Please keep out
of children."
On a butcher knife.
"Not suitable
for children aged 36 months or less."
On a birthday card for a 1 year old.
"Do not use for
drying pets."
In the manual for a microwave oven.
"For use on animals
only."
On an electric cattle prod.
"Remember, objects
in the mirror are actually behind you."
On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.
"Warning: Do not
climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death."
A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures
15cm by 15cm by 12cm.
"Do not use as
ear plugs."
On a package of silly putty.
"Please store
in the cold section of the refrigerator."
On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.
"Warning: knives
are sharp!"
On the packaging of a sharpening stone.
"Not for weight
control."
On a pack of Breath Savers.
"Twist top off
with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth."
On the label of a bottled drink.
"Do not use intimately."
On a tube of deodorant.
"Caution: Remove
infant before folding for storage."
On a portable stroller.
"Do not iron clothes
on body."
On packaging for a Rowenta iron.
"Do not drive
car or operate machinery."
On Boot's children's cough medicine.
"For indoor or
outdoor use only."
On a string of Christmas lights.
"Wearing of this
garment does not enable you to fly."
On a child sized Superman costume.
"Beware! To touch
these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted."
On a sign at a railroad station.
"Do not turn upside
down."
On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.
"Not for human
consumption."
On a package of dice.
"May be harmful
if swallowed."
On a shipment of hammers.
"Do not attempt
to stop the blade with your hand."
In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.
"Do not dangle
the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers."
From a manual for an SGI computer.
"Warning: May
contain nuts."
On a package of peanuts.
"Do not eat."
On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.
"Do not eat if
seal is missing."
On said seal.
"Warning: May
cause drowsiness."
On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.
"Warning: Misuse
may cause injury or death."
Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.
"Do not use orally
after using rectally."
In the instructions for an electric thermometer.
"Not to be used
as a personal flotation device."
On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.
"Remove plastic
before eating."
On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.
"Not dishwasher
safe."
On a remote control for a TV.
"Do not put lit
candles on phone."
On the instructions for a cordless phone.
"Warning! This
is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants."
On the packaging for a wristwatch.
"Safe for use
around pets."
On a box of Arm & Hammer Cat Litter.
"Do not use house
paint on face."
In a Visa commercial that depicts an expecting couple looking for
paint at a hardware store.
"Do not drive
cars in ocean."
In a car commercial which shows a car in the ocean.
"Always drive
on roads. Not on people."
From a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing"
at a concert.
"These rows reserved
for parents with children."
A sign in a church.
"Fits one head."
On a hotel-provided shower cap box.
"Payment is due
by the due date."
On a credit card statement.
"Some materials
may irritate sensitive skin. Please look at the materials if you believe
this may be the case.
Materials: Covering: 100% Unknown. Stuffing: 100% Unknown."
On a pillow.
"Remove the plastic
wrapper."
The first instruction on a bag of microwave popcorn; to see the
instructions, one first has to remove the plastic wrapper and unfold the
pouch.
"Open packet.
Eat contents."
Instructions on a packet of airline peanuts.
"Remove wrapper,
open mouth, insert muffin, eat."
Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11.
"Simply pour the
biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants."
On a bag of cat biscuits.
"In order to get
out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors."
In a car manual.
"The appliance
is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position."
Instructions for an espresso kettle.
