When people say, "I’m
so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not
even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?
Do stairs go up or
down?
Why is there a top
line on lined paper if we never use it?
Do coffins have lifetime
guarantees?
Why do the numbers
on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
If the sky is the limit,
then what is space, over the limit?
Are children who act
in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
When French people
swear do they say pardon my English?
Aren't the 'good things
that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got
there first?
"Cute as a button"
Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
Isn't Disney World
just a people trap operated by a mouse?
If electricity comes
from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Can you get cornered
in a round room?
Why do we wash behind
our ears? Who really looks there?
Why don't the hairs
on your arms get split ends?
If an atheist has to
go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
In that song, she'll
be coming around the mountain, who is she?
"Have you ever
noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out
to Woman Hitler?"
Isn't it funny how
the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin,
and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
Why is it that when
things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear?
Can mute people burp?
If a fork were made
of gold would it still be considered silverware?
If heat rises, then
shouldn't hell be cold?
Why do companies offer
you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free?
If something "goes
without saying," why do people still say it?
You know the expression,
"Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to people that
work nights?
Why do you get in trouble
for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an
emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?
Why is it when some
products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the
directions say do not turn upside down?
Which way does a compass
point in space?
Why are people allowed
to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?
Why do all superheroes
wear spandex?
If mars had earthquakes
would they be called marsquakes?
Why did Mary own a
little lamb?
If a missing person
sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get
the money?
Why can’t a baby
cry while it’s inside its mother?
If you were a genie
and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this
wish" what would you do?
Why aren't safety pins
as safe as they say they are?
If overalls are held
up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?
Why do people say,
"You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get
cake if they can't eat it?
Did Noah have woodpeckers
on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?
Why is Charlie short
for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?
Why is snow white and
ice clear? Aren't they just different forms of water?
If our body temperature
is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one
is comfortable?
If you die and you
have a broken leg do they take the cast off?
Is sign language the
same in languages other than English?
Why is "number"
abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?
Do the security guards
at airports have to go through airport security when they get to work?
Who gets to keep the
pennies in a wishing well?
If you went back in
time and killed your mother would you disappear the moment you killed her?
If money doesn't grow
on trees then why do banks have branches?
Did they have antiques
in the olden days?
Where does the white
go when the snow melts?
Can blind people see
their dreams?
If there's an exception
to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
Why doesn't Tarzan
have a beard?
Why do most cars have
speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast
on any road?
Why do they call it
"getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
Why do we leave expensive
cars in the driveway, when we keep worthless junk in the garage?
If quizzes are quizzical
then what are tests?
Why do they sterilize
needles for lethal injections?
Why do banks leave
the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?
What would happen if
an Irresistible Force met an Immovable Object?
What's the difference
between a wise man and a wise guy?
How can you hear yourself
think?
If corn oil is made
from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby
oil made from?
Is a man full of wonder
a wonderful man?
How come thaw and unthaw
mean the same thing?
If the speed of movement
is slower than the speed of light - how fast is a moving light?
How can something be
new and improved? if it's new, what was it improving on?
If you're in hell,
and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
What would Geronimo
say if he jumped out of an airplane?
What would Cheese say
if they got their picture taken?
I know you can be overwhelmed,
and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?
If Barbie is so popular,
then why do you have to buy her friends?
Why does Donald Duck
wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear
any pants?
If you take an oriental
person and spin him around a few times, does he become disoriented?
What should one call
a male ladybird?
Did Adam and Eve have
navels?
How can someone "draw
a blank"?
How can there be "self
help GROUPS"?
How do you know when
you're out of invisible ink?
How does a shelf salesman
keep his store from looking empty?
How does the guy who
drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
How fast do you have
to go to keep up with the sun so you're never in darkness?
If a turtle doesn't
have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
How many people thought
of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn't have anything
to jot it down on?
If a chronic liar tells
you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?
If all those psychics
know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
If someone with multiple
personalities threatens to kill herself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If superglue is so
good, why doesn't it stick to the side of the tube?
If the cops arrest
a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?
If the folks at the
psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first?
If you have a friend
who works for the Psychic Friends Network, should you plan a surprise birthday
party for them?
If you try to fail,
and succeed, which have you done?
What color is a chameleon
on a mirror?
What happens if you
get scared half to death twice?
What is another word
for "thesaurus"?
Who invented accents?
Whose cruel idea was
it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why do fat chance and
slim chance mean the same thing?
Why does flammable
and inflammable mean the same thing?
Why is it called a
bust, when it stops right before the part it is named after?
If a person suffered
from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot?
Why do mattresses have
designs on them when they're always covered with sheets?
If a singer sings their
own song during a karaoke party, is it considered karaoke?
If conjoined twins
participate in sports, do they count as one or two players?
Why do they say "an
alarm going off," if it is really going on?
