All I need to do is read a few of these, and they'll cheer me up in an
instant! I don't own any of them. Just my favourite quotes from fanfiction
around the net...
"But… what
about a subtle break-in?" he queried, not overly keen on the idea of
getting into a fight.
"Subtlety isn't my strong point."
Adair gaped at Bakura at this remark. "Bakura, you're a tomb robber!
What do you mean, subtlety isn't your–"
Yami placed a hand on the boy's shoulder and shook his head. "We've
been through this before."
‘Forever Dreaming Of What Might Be’ [Cloud-1-3-5
and Ame Emi Dai]
"Damn you and
you’re lousy ass!"
"Stop that!"
"Hey, look! A ginger snap!"
"No biting!"
"Where’s the ginger snap?"
"Let go of my hair, it took me hours to get it perfect!"
"Someone’s touching me in my ‘unmentionable’ region!"
"Everyone stop shouting!"
"That’s not a ginger snap! It’s a dead moth!"
"AAAAHHHH! I’m sitting on it!"
"Wait… it is a ginger snap."
"Maybe music will help." Now that Marik had learned the intricacies
of the car by sitting up front and toggling all the switches, he was able
to work most of the dashboard.
"…WAS A HAPPY JOLLY SOUL, WITH A CORN COB PIPE AND A BUTTON NOSE
AND TWO EYES MADE OUT OF COAL…"
The car came to a sudden screeching halt.
"I am not driving this car an inch further until everyone shuts up!"
‘The Joys Of Cooking’ [Kira-Kura]
"Don't tell me
what to do," Bakura snapped back, groaning internally when he felt
the baby's mounting excitement at his Hikari's presence. It really did like
him. Ryou smirked a little when he felt it himself through Bakura. "I
didn't know you were so happy to see me."
"I'm not. It's happy to see you. It's always happy to see you. I can't
see why I can't just dump it in your body. That way we'd all be happy,"
Bakura said with a scowl, sitting up and leaning his weight on his knees
tiredly. Closing his eyes for a moment, he mentally tried to soothe the
child into calm. It didn't work. He mentally growled at it. The baby found
it amusing for a few moments and then went back to being in a frenzied joy
over Ryou's presence. 'Sodding thing'.
‘Spawn’ [The Queens Of Borath Pachelbel]
"Fine!" Isis
heard he door unlock and it opened. Marik handed her a slip of paper that
was already half-burnt. "Here, it’s my report card."
"Is that what this was all about? I doubt your report card is that
bad…" She looked at it. "Um… The important thing is
that you tried and… Actually you hardly tried, but that’s not
the point. Marik, how in the heck can you fail homeroom!"
"I don’t know," admitted Marik. "It must have something
to do with tying the teacher up and locking him in the janitor’s closet
for a week. He survived on Lysol and a bag of month-old jellybeans."
‘The Joys Of Cooking’ [Kira-Kura]
"HI!" shouted
Yugi. "I NEVER KNEW YOU ENJOYED CHRISTMAS SONGS THIS MUCH!"
"WHAT!" shouted Ryou.
"Just get in the car," sighed Yami. Yugi got in next to Bakura
and Yami followed.
"CAN WE TURN DOWN THE VOLUME!" shouted Yami.
"WHAT!" yelled Ryou.
"I SAID CAN WE TURN DOWN THE VOLUME!"
"NO! I’M NOT SELLING VACUUMS!"
"NO! VOLUME!"
"VALIUM!"
"I SAID VOLUME! TURN DOWN THE VOLUME!"
"I CAN’T HEAR YOU! I’M GOING TO TURN DOWN THE VOLUME!"
shouted Ryou.
‘The Joys Of Cooking’ [Kira-Kura]
"I don’t
blame her," Joey said. "I mean, cleaning this house all alone?
And especially when it’s haunted!"
"Haunted?" Serenity sent an inquiring look to Kaiba, which he
regarded by rolling his eyes heavenward.
"Oh please, Wheeler, the only thing plaguing my mansion is you!"
"Haven’t you seen the way those eyes on that painting follow
you?"
Kaiba and Serenity both inclined their heads to their right and similarly
narrowed their eyes in confusion.
"That’s a painting of a house..." Serenity said, wondering
if she was looking at it incorrectly.
Joey leaned forward and squinted. "Oh, so it is! Aahahaha!"
‘With The French Maid In Kaiba's Room’
[Pinkstarz]
"I don't want
a boyfriend."
"So you want a girlfriend?"
"No!" Malik snapped. "I don't want an anything-friend, be
it boy, girl, or dancing iguana!"
"Why not?" Bakura insisted. He wasn't going to back down now.
“Actually, come to think of it, a dancing iguana sounds good.”
“Really funny.” Bakura did not sound particularly amused. “I
can’t believe I’m losing to a reptile.”
‘Misconception’ [Tramontana Keeper]
"I'm going to
find him by using the Ring," Bakura explained. He fingered the circlet
of gold in his hands. "Ring, show me the way to Marik!" he ordered.
The golden pointed thingies spun around and eventually stopped in midair.
They were pointing in Malik's direction.
Bakura sighed in frustration. "No, find the other Marik! He's taller,
dumber, and his hair is spiky!"
‘Family Ties’ [Tanya Maxwell]
"It’s cold!"
complained Bakura. "Turn up the heat!"
"No! Heat costs money!" yelled Ryou.
"I can’t feel my face!" shouted Marik. "I’m also
losing the feeling in my fingers and toes."
"Turn up the heat, Frosty!" shouted Bakura.
"Will the two of you shut up already!"
"We’ll shut up after you turn up the heat!"
"Is this the button over here?" asked Marik, randomly pressing
buttons. The windshield wipers came on.
"What about that button?" suggested Bakura from the back. The
left turn signals came on.
"Stop that!" screamed Ryou. "You’re going to cause
a traffic accident!" Unfortunately for Ryou, that only encouraged the
two. By the time they got to the game shop, they not only had both turn
signals flashing as well as the windshield wipers but the air conditioning
turned on high, the door ajar light flashing and the radio on at full blast.
"ON THE TWELFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME! TWELVE DRUMMERS
DRUMMING ELEVEN PIPERS PIPING TEN LORD’S A-LEAPING NINE LADIES DANCING
EIGHT MAIDS A-MILKING SEVEN SWANS A-SWIMMING…!"
‘The Joys Of Cooking’ [Kira-Kura]
"Moshi Moshi,
Kami game store, Mouto speaking," came the elderly voice of Yugi’s
grandfather.
"Is the Pharaoh there, or Yugi, I don’t care which," said
Marik urgently.
"Oh I’m sorry, I’m afraid they’ve gone out for a
walk."
Marik felt his jaw drop. His one hour of need (or more like second or third
hour of need) and the Pharaoh had walked out on him. What use was an all
mightily Egyptian spirit if they went out on strolls every time the world
was in peril. It was bad enough that the prat used playing cards to win
life or death battles, now he had sunk to running off. His family did not
spend centuries guarding the bastard’s tomb, only to have him go out
on a romantic walk with his host.
‘Mariks Wroth’ [Missq]
"Now, let’s
start with physics," instructed Ryou while opening the thick textbook.
"What don’t you understand?"
"All of it."
"You’ll have to be a bit more specific…"
"I was lost the moment the teacher told us his name."
"What in the bloody hell do you DO in class, Marik!"
‘The Joys Of Cooking’ [Kira-Kura]
"Oh, Marik! Before
you two leave, can I ask you a favor?" asked Isis .
"No."
"Let me rephrase that, will you do me a favor or else I’ll blackmail
you with those home videos I took of you were drunk and devoted your everlasting
love to a toothpick."
‘The Joys Of Cooking’ [Kira-Kura]
"Pharaoh, your
Hikari’s pointy hair is too long," complained Bakura. "Don’t
sit so close; they’re going up my nose."
‘The Joys Of Cooking’ [Kira-Kura]
"Ryou, what happened?"
asked Yami.
"Oh, Marik got his rod back so he and Bakura are planning to take over
the school and make it into a living hell for everyone," replied Ryou
calmly without looking up from his paper having gotten used to this type
of situation. It was a sure sign of the years of therapy he would need in
the future.
"Mr. Straub!" shouted Yugi, staring at the teacher who was behind
the desk.
The Valium injected English teacher was currently flopping around on the
floor and gasping as he wiggled about.
"What happened to him!" demanded Yami.
"Oh," answered Ryou once again without looking up. "Marik
convinced Mr. Straub that he’s a fish out of water. He thinks he’s
slowly drowning in the air."
"I’m not even sure I want to know what happened to the other
students…" mumbled Yami.
"They’re over there," Ryou pointed out the window.
"Why are they hanging off the tree branches?"
"They think they’re apples"
‘The Joys Of Cooking’ [Kira-Kura]
"Seto won't let
me touch any of his cars!" Mokuba protested, remembering how he had
crashed at least three times. It wasn't his fault that senile old woman
had to cross the street! And then there was that time with the squirrels...
‘With The French Maid In Kaibas Room’
[Pinkstarz]
"So, what did
she mean by cracking an egg?"
"Break an egg into a bowl, stupid," replied Bakura.
"I knew that."
Seven eggs later, Marik finally succeeded in hitting an egg in a bowl.
"Does it matter if there’s some of the shell in here?"
"How much?" asked Kaiba who had finished hacking the chocolate
into little bits.
"Just a bit."
Bakura glanced over at Marik. "That’s half the egg shell! How
are you breaking them!"
"Like this." Marik placed an egg on the table and smacked it with
the palm of his hand. Bits of yolk and shell landed in his hair.
"Whatever, cookies are supposed to crunchy anyway. No one will notice."
‘The Joys Of Cooking’ [Kira-Kura]
"So, you liked
it?" Malik asked curiously.
"No, I didn't. It's just that alleyway garbage turns me on so much,
it gives me this horrible urge to fuck you hard," Bakura muttered sarcastically.
‘I Touch Myself’ [Enkidu]
"Someone grabbed
my ass!" yelled Honda.
"Sorry," murmured Jou. "I thought it was a pillow."
"Are you saying my ass looks like a pillow!"
"Well, it’s round… and squishy."
"Ouch! Something bit me!"
"Bunny’s missing!"
"It bit ME now!"
"Ouch! Who’s biting me?"
"It’s that damned rabbit!"
"No, I have the rabbit."
"Then what’s with all these bites?"
"Bakura! Stop biting me!"
"I thought you were Marik! It’s dark you know! I didn’t
bite those other people though."
"Hey, this isn’t Bunny! It’s a Bakura plushie! Marik, is
this yours?"
"Does anyone have the Bunny?"
"Got it, it’s chewing on my toenail."
"That is it!" yelled Isis . "I can’t take this anymore!"
"Amen to that!" seconded Ryou.
"We need a place with bigger rooms and heat and electricity and…
privacy! Ryou, your hand is on my boob!"
"That’s not my hand…"
‘The Joys Of Cooking’ [Kira-Kura]
"We don't move
until Mai gives the signal," Joey informed, oblivious to Kaiba's withering
look.
From around the corner of the store they were standing in front of, Serenity
and Mai emerged. Both of them were dotting on Celeste, who was sleeping
in her stroller.
"...so cute!" Serenity was saying as she looked to Mai. "She
acts just like Joey!"
"Now I have two babies in the house," Mai joked. She was about
to say something else but stopped, her eyes widening in a fake realization.
"Oh, I just love those flowers!"
"What flowers?" Serenity asked, staring into the window that Mai
was fixated upon. The store unfortunately sold movies, so Mai was staring
at a cardboard cutout of Harrison Ford.
"Erm...the ones inside," Mai said loudly. While wondering where
all of this was going, and whether Mai and Joey knew the art of subtlety,
Kaiba felt a hard shove on his back and was thrust forward onto the sidewalk.
He wavered, attempting to catch his balance, but ended up falling on his
face.
‘With The French Maid In Kaibas Room’
[Pinkstarz]
"What the Hell
did you do?" Bakura demanded angrily, approaching the monster in long
strides. He was too pissed off to care about the creature's feelings.
"I've bound you and the child spiritually. It can sense your emotions
and you can sense it's. I've given it sentience but it has no thoughts,
only feeling. Perhaps this sharing sentiment will alter your behaviour,"
Tetsuo said, effectively condemning Bakura, before he vanished in a cloud
of crimson light.
Bakura stood motionless for a few moments before looking to and glaring
at the orb. A sensation that could only be described as 'what!' filtered
into his mind from it and Bakura only glared at it harder. "Oh sod
off."
‘Spawn’ [The Queens Of Borath Pachelbel]
"What’s
that!" exclaimed Shizuka.
"What does it look like?" sighed Bakura. "Marik won’t
spare any of his bottles so we had to improvise."
"Did you steal that from class?" asked Honda.
"Yes," admitted Marik. "As a matter of fact I did. Now shut
up and let’s play spin the dildo."
"Nii-san!" called Mokuba. "What’s a dildo?"
"It’s a kind of pickle," mumbled Kaiba hurriedly. "Go
watch T.V."
‘The Joys Of Cooking’ [Kira-Kura]
"Yamis: can't
live with them, if you kill them they just come right back"
‘Bundle Of Joy’ [Rekall]
"You made it point
to you during Marik’s turn! So, I DIDN’T CHEAT!" screamed
Yami. "Just for that, you and Marik should be disqualified! Which makes
me the winner. I win."
"How the hell do you win at spin the bottle!" exclaimed Marik.
"I win because spin the bottle is still a game and I am the king of
games which means that in games with no winners, I automatically become
the winner."
"That makes about as much sense as Honda’s haircut!"
"I NEVER LOSE!"
"Yami," sighed Jou. "We are really going to have to cure
you of this weird obsession…"
‘The Joys Of Cooking’ [Kira-Kura]
"Yugi's in trouble..."
Jou said in a sing-song voice. I watched in amusement as Jou blinked when
Malik hit him over the head with a paper fan.
"Don't sing in the morning. You suck at it."
"Why I outta-"
Malik hit him again.
These are the people I hang out with. Go me.
‘Saijin’ [Shime-Kitsune]
(Bakura’s eyes
are wide and adoring as he pets a black and white heifer.)
Bakura: I shall call her Squishy, and she shall me mine, and she shall be
my lunch.
Ryou: Oh no she won’t!
(Ryou drags Bakura away from the cow by the ear, muttering to himself.)
Ryou: What git gave him a live cow? Honestly!
‘The Lullabies Of Broadway’ [The Inspector]
“Bakura won’t
cook, Yami here physically can’t…” Malik sniggered as
the Pharaoh glared at him, just daring him to mention any of his previous
failed attempts at cooking – such as the now-legendary attempt at
goat stew. “…so that just leaves me.” Malik made his voice
softer, speaking with an air of one who has long suffered. “What with
shopping and cooking and tending to Bakura’s needs in the evenings…
I never have any time to myself.” Malik pressed one forearm to his
forehead, arching back slightly and dramatically flinging his other arm
out. “No-one understands the needs of a tomb robber’s lover…
to them I’m just a simple little housewife… househusband…
maid…”
‘Forever Dreaming Of What Might Be’ [Cloud-1-3-5
and Ame Emi Dai]
“Can I ask why?”
Bakura asked lightly, muffling his voice by his hand, since he was close
to releasing a fit of laughter.
Pouting once again, Marik ran a finger across the rim of his shot glass.
“Well after he took my dynamite away, I couldn’t sleep, the
damn pillow was just too flat,” he sighed. “So I decided took
my guns out and put the pillow over them, and it actually did feel a lot
better, that was until in my sleep my hand went under my pillow and the
next thing I know is a bang going off, a window shattering and Malik coming
in dragging me out of his house.”
‘Wild Aces’ [Zephyr Sombra]
“Come on! You
ain’t so tough!” Joey yelled to one. The demon snarled, drooling
on Joey’s shoulder. Joey gave a sour look and peered into the demons
black orbs. He smiled nervously, regretting everything. “You know…you
have very beautiful eyes. Where did you-” The beast growled with rage.
“Oh crud. I’m outa here.” Joey backed off quickly, with
the demon right behind him.
‘Bright Nights And Starry Days’ [Boy Crazy
Magician Chick]
“Do you know
what happens when teenagers…” Ryou’s father trailed off,
cringing visibly at the words he refused to say.
“Have sex?” Ryou ventured curiously.
His father blanched. “Where did you learn that word!”
Ryou wished he’d had that plunger right about now.
‘Naming The Flame’ [Trei]
“Hikari.”
Bakura said, “This is me we’re talking about. I’m the
Thief King Bakura, and Marik was right their with me. We’re experts!”
“Oh knowing that makes me feel so much better.” Ryou said sarcastically.
‘A Very YuGiOh Christmas’ [YamiMisao]
“How hard did
you get hit in the head?” Marik asked, cocking an eyebrow. “What
happened to our wild and reckless Yami? The one that would smile and then
cause mass mayhem?”
Smirking at Marik, Yami chuckled lightly. “You are the one of mass
mayhem; I’m not the one sleeping with sticks of dynamite under my
pillow.”
“You mean there is dynamite in my house?” Seto growled looking
over at Marik.
“No of course not, Seto,” Marik smiled. “Ignore Yami,
he’s not thinking straight.”
“For your sake, you better hope I don’t find dynamite in my
house or else you’ll be sleeping with that horse of yours out in the
barn!”
‘Wild Aces’ [Zephyr Sombra]
“I believe our
answer lies in the private collections of the ancient pharaohs. Our answer….is
in the Royal Palace .”
Malik rolled his eyes. “And how exactly do you intend on getting in
there? ‘Hi, I’m Marik Ishtar, a dying spirit, I need to sift
through your library.’ Yeah, that will go over like a lead balloon,
yami.”
Marik growled. “You can be a sarcastic little bugger, you know that?”
“’Bugger?’ Since when did you ever say THAT word?”
‘The Yami Virus’ [BakurasGirl]
“I’ll get
it, don’t you worry about that,” Malik growled. “I might
take ya guns as well, so you don’t shoot out the new window or blow
holes in the wall!”
Marik pouted, that had been an accident and he couldn’t stand it without
his guns, they were another comfort factor that put him at ease. “Ya
ain’t taking my guns from me, what kind of outlaw would I be without
a gun?”
“A dead one, probably,” Malik replied.
‘Wild Aces’ [Zephyr Sombra]
“I’m not
sure I can find the recipe for pound cake.”
Marik looked up. “What? Recipe? Bakura, we’re looking for a
cure for the Yami Virus! Not how to make a fucking pound cake! Do I look
like Betty-fucking-Crocker to you?”
“Oh! Really? I was wondering why it wasn’t mentioning anything
about pastry.”
“Pound cake is not a pastry! Bakura, why don’t you let me do
this?”
‘The Yami Virus’ [BakurasGirl]
“I’m sick
of seeing it,” murmured Malik against Ryou’s temple.
Ryou nodded faintly, eyelashes dusting sun-drenched skin as he closed his
eyes. “I remember thinking you were a mite off when you first told
me about it.”
Malik grimaced and thwapped his koi’s hip. “Last time I tell
you about my dreams.”
Snorting, Ryou retorted lazily, “No sane person dreams about his sister’s
cat stealing his boyfriend.”
“….”
“Um - wrong nightmare?”
Malik growled. “Wrong nightmare.”
‘Naming The Flame’ by [Trei]
“ Isis left the
twerp at the kennel for a reason, kojika,” he said, leaning on his
motorcycle and resting his arm on the pet carrier strapped to the back.
“Yes, she did,” said Ryou with an exasperated look. “So
you wouldn’t try to pull an all-out assassination on her kitten.”
“She likes that cat more than she does her own brother,” sulked
Malik under his breath.
Smiling, Ryou pushed an adamant lock of gold from Malik’s petulant
features. The Egyptian turned lilac eyes from the concrete, pouting vaguely.
“You’re not jealous of Tabibito, are you?” smiled Ryou.
“Jealous?” shrieked Malik. “Of that hairball?”
Ryou nodded.
“…Yes, now get on.”
‘Naming The Flame’ [Trei]
“Maliiiiiiik!”
With that last rough shake, Malik shot from his seat. “And someday
I’ll take the power of the Pharaoh and rule the world!” he cried
out, still in a sleep state. “Huh...?”
Everyone turned to him, even the teacher, all displaying sweat drops on
the side of their faces. ‘What the hell is this tired bastard on...?’
Jou thought, his eyes bugging out before his friend.
“Um... right Malik... Whatever ‘revenge’ you have on some
‘Pharaoh...’ MAKE SURE YOU DO IT AFTER YOU’RE FULL AWAKE
AND GRADUATED!” Ms. Chouno cried, her patience already running thin
on the boy.
‘MARS’ [Baka Muyou]
“Malik Ishtar!”
Isis angrily yelled up the stairs. “How the hell did McGuire get dirty!
He better not have been outside!”
“Hide me!” Malik whispered and it was Marik’s turn to
laugh. “Don’t laugh! If you had only helped me today, McGuire
would have never have gotten out this afternoon!”
“Don’t blame me I was watching Marzuq!” Marik replied.
“And Ryou and Bakura were too busy trying not to jump each other bones.”
“So you noticed it too?” Malik asked. “We need to blame
this on someone or I’m dead!”
The pair stared at each other for a few silent minutes before they both
broke out in huge grins. “The Pharaoh!” They simultaneously
said while breaking out in laugher. Both of them knew that Isis wouldn’t
dare getting mad at Yami so he was the perfect person to blame………
………
"So let me get this straight," Isis began. Currently she was seated
at the kitchen table with McGuire in her arms. Opposite her sat Marik and
Malik, both who were looking nervously. "The Pharaoh let McGuire out
because he's an idiot?"
"Yup!" Marik replied throwing her a grin.
‘Bundle Of Joy’ [Rekall]
“Marik…the
holy water is in your veins. Since the bullet didn’t hit you straight
in the heart…then…then your gunna…your gunna die bit by
bit…until your insides dissolve into the outside! You’ll rot
away and leave me forever!” She sobbed. Joey rocked back and forth
on his heels.
“And the colorful award goes to…” He whispered.
‘Bright Nights And Starry Days’ [Boy Crazy
Magician Chick]
“Most people
probably think you bought it like that - like you mean to boast half of
your torso to the world.”
“You were supposed to be home at six.”
“I wonder what they would think if they knew it shrunk in the wash?”
“ Isis !”
‘Naming The Flame’ [Trei]
“On another note,
it also befuddles me why she’s not dancing and seems actually rather
nervous about it. On our time of close gathering you arranged for us -”
“Will you just say DATE like how normal people do!”
‘Mâ! Kore wa Hontô Janai Deshô!’
[Saiya-jin Spice]
“That’s
fine by me. Anything else?”
“The birth.”
Bakura shuddered. It was a reflex. The baby bounced again at the prospect
of freedom. Nothing against living inside Bakura; it just didn’t want
to listen to the process of digestion for the rest of its existence.
‘Spawn’ [The Queens Of Borath Pachelbel]
“What’s
so bad about lying, anyway? I do it all the time.”
“Yes, and you’re just the role model parents want their children
to follow.”
“You followed me,” Malik pointed out, smiling undauntedly.
“And my father was enormously thrilled by that.” Ryou stifled
a smile of his own and added, “Besides, I didn’t follow you.
I was dragged kicking and howling into your thieving arms and I plan to
escape this horrible relationship in the dead of night when you’re
off polishing your motorcycle.”
“Who does that at night?” Malik snorted. “I do it during
the day.”
Ryou adapted a look of stern disapproval. “In broad daylight?”
he admonished in mock incredulity.
“Yeah, why - Ryou!”
‘Naming The Flame’ [Trei]
“Where are we?”
Malik asked, sounding angry and worried.
“What do you mean? We’re in Tokyo bay! Where else would we be?”
“Oh, I dunno…how about…the middle of nowhere!” Malik
shouted.
“Wha? B-but that’s…that’s impossible!” Mariku
hopped off the bed and brushed past Ryou and Bakura. Leaning over the side
of the yacht he looked out to sea.
“This cant be happening.” He whispered, putting a hand to his
forehead. Malik followed behind him, and Bakura and Ryou followed Malik.
He crossed his arms as he stared at his darker half.
“What exactly did you do last night?” Malik asked sullenly.
“I…well…I was steering out in the harbor…then Ryou
came in the cabin…and I…we went back to the…oh shit.”
Mariku looked as if he could throw himself overboard.
“I swear Mariku…if you had a brain you’d be dangerous.”
‘Pain Before Pleasure’ [Kohaku Ishtar]
“Yes. Like…
um, the napkin. It’s from our first date… After you got us kicked
out of that nice restaurant and we went to a fast food place to eat.”
I huff. “That wasn’t my fault! It was the damn waiter! It’s
not my fault he couldn’t see all the spots on the spoon! If they just
would’ve let me in the back, I could’ve properly washed everything…
And don’t even get me started on that fast food joint.”
‘When The Mouse Is Away’ [Ruia]
“Yuugi...Well
I just got up and I need to get ready and stuff. You know! Do girl-girl
things like fix my hair, do my makeup, and like, stuff. Teehee!” Malik
said, trying to sound as girly as possible. Man, he was good!
‘Mâ! Kore wa Hontô Janai Deshô!’
[Saiya-jin Spice]
Anzu knelt down it
pulled it out, not aware that it was an “adult” magazine. She
flipped through it, not hearing Malik entering the room. His eyes widen,
seeing his “stash” discovered. “THAT IS NOT MINE!”
he cried. “Er... uh... Jou let me borrow them!”
“I want to borrow them too...”
“And I said, ‘Jou, I ABSOLUTELY will NOT’... Huh?”
He turned over to Anzu, the little voice she spoke in caught up in his mind.
“I said, I want to borrow them too. It’s a good study of anatomy,”
Anzu replied, continuing to look through the magazine.
“If that’s the case...” Malik went under his bed, bringing
up 20 more issues of his exposing magazines. “You can have these too
as well,”
“Woooow. How did her breast become as big as basketballs?”
“How am I suppose to know?”
‘MARS’ [Baka Muyou]
Both Ryou and Malik
were wide awake by the time they arrived at Sassami’s house. The freezing
cold had woken them up rather abruptly, “Ok hikari’s, here’s
the once in a life time chance to see the Thief King at work.”
Ryou raised an eyebrow at this, “What are talking about yami? I get
to see “the thief king at work” almost everyday. And it never
seems to end well...”
Bakura thought for a moment, then looked at Malik, “Ok Malik, here’s
your once in a life time chance to see the thief king at work!”
“Joy...” Malik mumbled.
‘A Very YuGiOh Christmas’ [YamiMisao]
But then there was
Serenity, standing in front of him. Her hair was being lightly tossed by
the wind behind her, along with her long lavender skirt. Her delicate fingers
clutched onto a bag slung over her jean clad shoulders and she was staring
at him darkly. He took out the paper. And began to read it.
"I've fallen for the soul inside,
Reflected by Your chemical, hair-sprayed hair,
Intoxicating me,
Causing me to hack,
Preventing me to breathe...
Your voracious hands,
tearing at my clothing,
Your lovely body,
Implants that are not requiWhat the hell!"
Mirroring Kaiba's expression, Serenity was open mouthed and wide eyed.
"How dare you, you bastard!" she shouted, after her shock wore
off. She punched him smartly on the jaw and stalked off, leaving him to
groan to onlookers.
What possessed Joey's mind, he didn't know. What he was sure of, though,
was that it did not house a brain.
‘With The French Maid In Kaibas Room’
[Pinkstarz]
Can’t we just
buy all the toilet paper here and buy eggs somewhere else?”
Bakura rolled his eyes at his idiot of a best friend.
“If we bought that much toilet paper in one place, they’re either
going to think that we have serious bathroom issues or we’re TPing
seven blocks.”
‘Four And A Half Blocks Later’ [YaoiGirl1]
Donny sighed. “Aten,
my name is ‘Donny.’ Not ‘Bonnie.’”
Aten started to cry again. “You no wike my pennent!”
“No, Aten, I love your present! I’m just saying that my name
is ‘Donny.’”
Donny rubbed the child’s back. How could he be considered a merciless
killer and a master sniper with a pink angel pin reading ‘Bonnie’?
‘Hostile Takeover’ [BakurasGirl]
Fluffy was curled up
at his feet. Malik watched him for a moment.
He sucked in a breath when Fluffy grabbed his foot and pulled it to his
face, nibbling on Malik's toes. Malik clamped both hands over his mouth,
trying not to laugh.
Fluffy purred, "... mm, hikaris on toast... oishishii, da nyaaa.."
(hikaris on toast are yummy, meow...) He let go of Malik's foot and flopped
onto his back. "With jam!" His arm swung around and smacked Bakura
in the face.
‘Baka, Ra, To Ringu: Rebirth’ [Kimyo]
I can't believe we're
doing this," Bakura moaned as the trio hiked along the side of the
road. He held the Ring out in front of him, so at least they wouldn't get
lost and had a little light.
"You know, I can't believe we're doing this either," Malik repeated
sarcastically. "It's dangerous. Some idiot could fall asleep at the
wheel and drive right into us."
"I would have noticed hitting someone, you stupid blond."
"You didn't notice driving into a ditch!"
‘Family Ties’ by [Tanya Maxwell]
I could try to put
everything back where it was originally… but I don’t remember,
so it’ll go where I think it belongs. That picture of me in a frilly
apron, covered head to toe in batter and frosting during a baking attempt
(my one and only) that went horribly awry, for instance… that belongs
dropped behind Ryou’s dresser.
‘When The Mouse Is Away’ by [Ruia]
I glance around, knowing
Malik should be in the room, sipping his coffee, but at some point during
my inner monologue, which should be named 'Unnecessarily useless list of
why I'm crazy about a certain psychotic yet lovable Egyptian', he had walked
out.
‘Playing With Fire’ by [Enkidu]
I rest limply on the
floor for a few minutes, waiting for my chest to stop stinging. My eyesight
focuses in on a lone piece of lint, resting on the carpet with deceptive
innocence. Bastard. I will utterly destroy that malevolent piece of fuzz…
But not now. Later.
‘When The Mouse Is Away’ by [Ruia]
In Seto’s room,
the CEO holding onto a sleeping, snoring Joey. A loud, piercing scream came
from Malik and Marik’s room.
“Now I know why I put them at the very end of the hall. Freaks.”
‘Hostile Takeover’ [BakurasGirl]
Isis appeared in the
room, an eyebrow arched high to her hairline, "Oh don’t even
tell me you two are getting off to Spice Girls."
‘2 Become 1’ [Sukion]
Isis : They really
are just like large kitties. When they start scratching the furniture, just
get out the squirt bottle and spray them a few times. They stop really quickly.
Ryou: I’ll have to try that. Bakura likes to bat at the dangly pieces
of our ring. I’ve thought of hanging it up somewhere where he can
play with it. But he’d kill me if I took it off for long periods of
time.
Isis : Hum, try tying the kitchen knives to string. That should work just
as well. But then, they have a tendency to chase people around with said
knives.
Ryou: (Promptly) Frying pans. I sleep with one under my pillow. Very effective
against yamis when they are chasing you around the house with pointy objects.
Isis : Frying pan…I’ll have to remember that one.
‘The Lullabies Of Broadway’ [The Inspector]
Kaiba’s jaw had
visibly tightened, the fists by his side no longer comfortably resting but
strained and white.
Score: Ryuuji: 5; Kai -
SLAM.
Game called off due to spinning world.
‘Naming The Flame’ [Trei]
Malik frowned as he
shifted through the assortment of letters. "Marik, what have I told
you about applying to those CD clubs?" he scolded. "I know they
tell you that the first twelve discs are free, but you have to pay for shipping
and handling, and then you have to buy more full priced CDs from them. It's
a total rip. You aren't saving anything."
"Then why would they – I mean, I haven't been ordering more CDs,"
Marik covered up. "There must have been a mistake. The Pharaoh's probably
behind it – let's kill him!"
‘Family Ties’ [Tanya Maxwell]
Malik sighed in frustration
as he turned onto his stomach, nearly taking Marik's head off when he brought
his foot down. "But I'm hungry," Malik countered. "And it's
almost bedtime, and I won't be able to sleep on an empty stomach."
"So sleep on your back," Marik suggested.
‘Family Ties’ [Tanya Maxwell]
Malik smirked over
his shoulder. “Hear that? I’m a lady’s man,” he
teased. Ryou wished for a moment that he had claws and an excuse like PMS
to use as a defense when the police asked him why he’d sent his saiai
to the hospital in ribbons.
‘Naming The Flame’ [Trei]
Malik stiffened. “What’s
going on?” he hissed.
Ryou blinked and surveyed the theatre, searching for an unorthodox peril
or even a strange ad on the movie screen. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary,
he asked, “What?”
“The lights,” explained Malik sharply, his head craned back
to flit his gaze from one darkening orb to the next.
Ryou masked a smile and said, “They’re just dimming the lights,
saiai.”
“Why?”
“So you can see the screen better. Just watch.”
Malik angled his head slightly, ignoring the abrupt brilliance of the screen
to gaze stoically at his koi. Aware thanks the peripheral sense of his gaze,
Ryou turned his glimpsing eyes on Malik’s and smiled amusedly. “I
meant watch the screen, kichou,” he teased lightly. Malik only grinned
and reached out with a crooked wrist, gently guiding Ryou’s head to
his shoulder. Inwardly, Ryou initiated giggles fit for the vocal capacity
of a ten-year-old, outwardly smiling enough to split his face in half.
“IN THEATERS OCTOBER 14th!”
Malik yelped and tumbled straight out of his seat, his hand unconsciously
swiping his belt for his absent Sennen Rod. “What the hell!”
he demanded of the ceiling.
‘Naming The Flame’ [Trei]
Malik yelped and massaged
his lamenting limb, looking all the world like a confused five-year-old.
“What’d I do!” he whined, brought unexpectedly to the
days of his youth when Isis would slap his shoulder for being, as she tactfully
put it, “conveniently brainless”.
‘Naming The Flame’ [Trei]
Marik was forced once again to endure a 15-minute homeroom period with
a bubbly Mrs. Constable who still couldn’t say his name.
"Good morning, Martin!"
"Damn you."
‘The Joys Of Cooking’ [Kira-Kura]
Morning soon came about
and the land was covered in beautiful, tranquil snow.
"Holy Ra! What the fuck is that!" Marik leaped out of bed, still
clad in his boxers, and ran to Isis ’ room. " Isis ! The gods
have been angered and we’re all going to die! They’ve covered
the land in horrible, white sand! Isis !"
"Marik… You’ve better have a good excuse for waking me
at five in the morning," yawned Isis .
"It’s eternal damnation! They want our souls!" shouted Marik.
"Then again… it sure doesn’t look like the after life…
Oh no! Isis , it’s worse than I thought! This is HEAVEN! We’re
in fucking heaven, the gods knew I would enjoy damnation and sent me into
eternal bliss! Look at the terrifying fluffy clouds of death!"
Isis yawned, thinking about how Ryou was right. She covered her head with
the duvet covers and mumbled an answer. "We’re not in heaven…"
"Have you gone mad, woman! Just look outside! No, you’re right…
This can’t be heaven. There aren’t any angels. Oh my Ra! We’re
being mixed in flour by the gods! They mean to bake us and EAT us! Isis
! I don’t want to be a cookie!"
Marik ran to the window, opened it up and stuck his head out. "I WILL
NOT BECOME A COOKIE!"
He was answered by the neighbors: "SHUT UP YOU LUNATIC!"
‘The Joys Of Cooking’ [Kira-Kura]
Overview: I’ve
dated Malik too long, the Ring spirit remains unbalanced, there are two
anonymous people in my house that are neither my father nor poltergeists,
the spirit of the Sennen Rod is human and scores of monsters called the
‘Heartless’ are tormenting the city. Well, isn’t this
a tidy Thriller meets The Mummy? I should have just stayed in the Jacuzzi.
‘Naming The Flame’ [Trei]
Quietly opening the
drawer, he slipped his hand in and felt around for anything that was remotely
like his item. Pushing past the initial obstacles of bras and panties, his
fingers brushed against something smooth and hard.
Yes! It’s the handle to my Millennium rod!
Whipping it out from underneath the colorful array of underclothes, he froze
in shock at what he was holding.
"Oh my RA! It’s a… AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
His shrieks definitely woke Isis, who sat up groggily.
"Marik!" she snapped, fully awake. "What are you doing in
my dresser! And why are you holding my vibrator!"
‘The Joys Of Cooking’ [Kira-Kura]
Ryou cuffed his blond
upside the head spitefully and stumbled to his feet while still tangled
in his bedspread.
Leaning back on his hands idly, Malik nodded to the knotted sheets, “You’d
walk better without those wrapped around your legs.”
“I hate you.”
“Good thing I love you or this would be one severely disturbed relationship.”
‘Naming The Flame’ [Trei]
Ryou got up and heaved
their wet laundry into the adjacent dryer. About five minutes later, something
started to clatter.
"Who left coins in their pocket?" Malik asked blankly. He was
staring into space because of a combination of the humming of the machine
and his own exhaustion.
"Probably me," Bakura admitted.
"Great." Malik was too tired to argue with his antagonizing counterpart.
‘Family Ties’ [Tanya Maxwell]
Ryou let out a slight
moan, as an image of the Egyptian thrusting into him popped into his head.
The entire class turned to stare at him, and the British boy chose the wrong
moment to open his eyes. /Oh, bloody hell!/
‘Prepositions’ [Enkidu]
Ryou’s developing
amusement at his cousin’s koibito was cut short by a sudden shrieking
noise in the corner. Ryou winced. Some phones have nice, melodious pealing
rings…like bells. Some phones have short electronic reverberating
coos. The Bakuras’ phone sounded like a tone-deaf parakeet in the
middle of a Mariah Carey karaoke.
‘Naming The Flame’ [Trei]
Seto handed her the
cell phone. "Tell Salizar to get the helicopter ready."
Seto dialed the number and gave it to Aria. He listened to it ring.
/Hello?/
"Saizar, my Unkie Seto wants the hellcopper weady! We're going to the
pway park!"
//The what?//
"Hellcopper! That thingy! Wisten to me! Hell-copper!"
//OH! The HELICOPTER!//
"Yes. Get the hellcopper weady for us, pwetty pwease? Ok, I love you,
Bye bye!"
Aria handed the phone to Seto.
"Saying please and thank you is good, Aria, but it's not really necessary
to tell your employees you love them"
‘Anything For You’ [BakurasGirl]
She instinctively grabbed
it and picked it up, before Malik could protest, in saying that she had
his voice.
“Hello?” Anzu inquired.
“...Who is this?” the feminine voice on the other end replied
confused.
The brunette’s eyes widened. ‘Mom! She thought. ‘Oh, shoot,
I forgot I sound like Malik. And I can’t put Malik on the phone because
he wouldn’t know what to say. Think, Anzu, think...’
“Uh, it’s Malik, one of Anzu’s friends.”
Malik just rolled his eyes and mouthed: “Brilliant.”
‘Mâ! Kore wa Hontô Janai Deshô!’
[Saiya-jin Spice]
The candle would have
a field day of gossip when it got back to Isis’ bathroom. Cocky faucet
had insisted that Isis’ younger brother was as heterosexual as Bruce
Willis, but ohhh no. Here was flat evidence that that drooling faucet was
lying through its tap.
‘Naming The Flame’ [Trei]
The door opened with
an audible “snap” and Mr. Gave-My-Son-a-Gold-Thing-With-Mental-Psyche-Issues
appeared in the door, looking slightly bemused. Then his eyes fell on the
Jacuzzi. His Jacuzzi. And then his son. And the startled Egyptian on top
of his son.
Ryou immediately withdrew his arms from around Malik’s neck and tried
to speak. “Father….” But what else could he say? “Hey,
Pops, this is Malik. A few months ago he was trying to take over the world,
but he’s relatively safe now. Er, just don’t give him sharp
objects and anything with caffeine and he won’t attack you right away.”
‘Naming The Flame’ [Trei]
They were practically
at each other’s throats by now. Sonic’s ears flicked as he heard
a slamming sound in the distance. He didn’t pay any attention to it
though. The fight continued, getting more heated by the minute. One of them
would swing at the other soon.
It was about this time when Tails turned the hose on them.
‘Dependency’ [Indilee]
They were viewing a
singing competition when the commercials came on, the first being about
a restaurant and the second focusing on a new cleaning product. The third
one, though, was about a long distance phone service, and caused Serenity
to burst into tears.
"W-what?" Mokuba asked, panicked. He looked around for an escape,
which he had been doing a lot lately, but was surprised to find none. Serenity
sat, bawling, between him and the door.
"It’s just so touching," Serenity said between gasps for
air. "That little boy got to talk to his grandmother and then... he
put the teddy bear on the phone!" This caused another bursting of tears,
even louder than before.
He patted her on the back, hoping that she would decide smiling would be
a better change of face. However, this wasn’t the case. He was relieved
when she pulled away, wiped her tears, and said that she was being silly,
but the tears would return a few moments later, stemmed from a commercial
about a cat whose food got taken away by mice.
‘With The French Maid In Kaibas Room’
[Pinkstarz]
Wandering down the
harshly lit aisles, Bakura stuffed his hands into his pockets as he scoured
the shelves for his prized crackers. A slightly dented package of Twinkies
caught his eye, possibly due to the fact that it was a box dating back to
1968 at the latest. His lip curling in disgust at the item, his eyes widened
at the sudden feeling of unbridled excitement from his spawn.
‘Oh no you bloody don’t. I refuse to put that stone-age crap
in my body. Having you in me is bad enough.’
‘Spawn’ [The Queens Of Borath Pachelbel]
Was Malik only asking him to come so he would have an excuse to be around
his ivory-haired kojika? Probably. Malik had yet to learn the tact of dating.
…Or tact of any kind, come to think about it. ~‘Naming
The Flame’ by Trei
“What will our
story be?” Kaiba asked. Joey turned to him.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you inescapably stupid fleabag, that we can’t waltz
into the medical clinic and tell them we just got finished fighting a bunch
of demons. I’m even having trouble believing it.”
“Why would we tell them that?”
“That’s my point you idiot.”
‘Bright Nights And Starry Days’ [Boy Crazy
Magician Chick]
“Yeah, but you
hit Bombi when you was aiming at Misty!”
He heaved his last water balloon at Mistoffelees, who ducked and said,
“Listen, if you two insist on abbreviating my name, you could call
me Misto. Misty is a girl’s na--”
Rumpelteazer’s last balloon hit him smack in the chest. Mungojerrie
and Rumpelteazer gave each other high fives, while Mistoffelees sighed and
conjured a towel from mid-air.
“Noice shot, Teaze.”
“Not really. That time Oi was aiming at Bombi.’
“Why were you two trying to soak me in the first place?” Mistoffelees
asked, rubbing his head with the towel.
“We wanted to see if you’d lose your powers if you got wet.”
“Obviously I don’t, because I’m not a CARTOON CHARACTER!”
‘Road To Hell’ [Nemblewhiska]
